Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Acid is not a monday night drug
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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