It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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