you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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