escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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