Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
