Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
