just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Apparently you make a good broom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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