Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
