i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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