Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
