Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
