Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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