The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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