i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
