theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
