I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
