youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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