Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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