I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
