I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
