oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
