Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
