I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I believe in your delicious
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
