shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
BRING THE BAGELS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
