in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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