if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
