I got chris browned last night
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize