i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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