Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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