worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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