can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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