but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
