oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
