We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
