I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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