dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
