I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
