My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
