Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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