i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
