You work out of a Hotel?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
