I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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