kristin has been a bad kristin
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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