Plan B is the new Plan A
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
