I wannas sexs uuuuu
Non-Jews are for practice
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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