i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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