Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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