***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
