So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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