I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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