that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
