Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
