Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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