I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
