I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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