i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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