I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
