im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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