I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
