Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
God, I missed his penis.
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