My hand turned me down
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
