your parents love me but you hate me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
