I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Randomize
