just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
